Use auto-suggestion
You must have seen in chapter 2 how auto-suggestion works in enhancing self-esteem. This can be applied for developing emotional competence too. The entire process will remain the same except that you have to construct the statements which are relevant for developing emotional competence. While constructing such statements, you should take care that these statements show what behavior you want to follow and why you want to follow that. Further each of these statements should show a kind of conviction and not merely shows the directive principle. For example, you should construct statement like ‘I must do…….because it……’ instead of the statement like ‘I should do…….. because it……’. When you use the word must instead of should, it reflects your conviction and your conscious mind will send signal to your subconscious mind. Your subconscious treats this signal as a command and not merely as a directive principle. Any thing that goes in your subconscious mind cannot be erased easily. Some statements that you can use in auto-suggestion for developing emotional competence are as follows:
- I must not be angry because it hurts the feelings of others.
- I must not be fearful because it develop cowardliness.
- I must not develop depression because it works against my self-esteem.
- I must remain happy because it gives me psychic energy.
- I must love others because that is gratifying to them.
These are some examples. You can have your own statements depending n the emotions. You should construct statements for positive and negative emotions as you have to reinforce positive emotions and overcome negative emotions. While preparing your statements, ensure that are well-composed and free from any disturbing element. You can keep these statements in your conscious mind. If need be, write these statements on a piece of paper and read these statements every morning before you start your day’s work. If you have prepared these statements in your mind, recall these statements every morning. Continue this practice till your subconscious mind is not conditioned to these statements.
Depending on the type of concentration you have during this exercise, conditioning of your subconscious mind will take time.
Manage stimuli
You learn everything in response to stimuli which are in the form of persons, objects, or events in the environment with which you interact. People generally behave according to the type of stimuli which are present before them. This is true for emotion formation too. For example, if you interact with irritating person, there is a chance that you too become irritating. If you interact with a well-balanced person, the chance is that you show well-balanced behavior. This is true for objects and events too. Therefore manage stimuli in such a way that you interact with only positive stimuli. Positive stimuli in your home are energizing home environment, scenes and photographs in your room which give you positive feelings, etc. similar environment can be created at your work place too.
While at home you may have much control and manage stimuli accordingly, at your workplace, avoiding all negative stimuli may not be possible. In such a situation, it is better that you interact with positive stimuli at the beginning stage of your day’s work. Negative stimuli can be tackled later. However, to the extent it is possible, avoid these altogether. A senior marketing manager of a company entrusted the work of dealing with irritating customers to his other staff members as he felt that he used to lose his temper while dealing with such customers.
Practice new behavior.
After you have prepared statements for reinforcing positive emotions and overcoming negative emotions, you should start practicing behavior according to the statements. Engaging in such a behavior is slow and time consuming process as you cannot change your emotions on a single day; it requires continuous practice for a much longer time. The time duration depends on the strength of emotions, particularly the negative ones. For example, if you tend to become angry even on small matters, overcoming this anger will take more time than if you tend to become angry on substantial matters.
When you practice your behavior to match your statements regarding reinforcement of positive emotions and overcoming of negative emotions, you must measure your behavior at regular intervals. This will give you feedback regarding your progress being made in this direction. If the feedback shows that you are progressing in right direction, continue this practice. If the feedback shows that you are not progressing in right direction, evaluate your efforts and find out where you lack. This will help you to reorient your efforts n right direction. With continuous practice, you will develop new way of emotional thinking which is desirable.
Previous Page | Next Page
Subscribe
For Free Newsletter !